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” “Me too,” she indicated. “It’s been a very long winter.” “Hmmmm,” I thought to myself. Jill was here to see if I was okay, even though we had only met once in seven months, and that was only to discuss Carol; her hair was done a new way, amplifying her attractive appearance; there was a slight nervousness about her; she had broken up with her boyfriend; and, she had spent a long winter by herself. “Can I interest you in another beer?” I asked. I got up to get us both a beer, and she followed me into the kitchen. “You’re not trying to get me drunk, are you?” she asked with a little laugh as she held my arm with her hands and leaned into me. “Of course I am,” I told her with a laugh. “Have another beer!” She put one hand on the small of my back and held it there as she took the beer from my hand, and we walked back into the living room. This time, she sat on the couch, not the chair. Jill quickly brought up the subject of Carol, and she tried to explain their relationship. Jill. I had plans for college but those dreams were quickly crushed replaced by a reality of working end jobs and living on welfare just to support my son. There was a time I could have had anyone but after having Jimmy I was considered damaged goods. I never fucking wanted this life. I never fucking wanted to be a mother. I have paid for that mistake all these years raising him and he was now finishing high school eager to start college. Well I didn’t get the opportunity to earn my degree. Instead I was stuck raising a bastard that I regretted ever giving birth to. I was in his room when I discovered a condom under his mattress. I took out a pin and poked tiny holes through it. I was going to ruin his life just like he ruined mine! He was going to know what it was like for me, all the fucking sacrifices I made for this burden I called my son. I was just about to put the tainted condom back under his mattress when Jimmy walked in. He was shocked, screaming at me to explain myself..
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